Charlotte Fitzgibbon - TheKnot.com
Trying to avoid the dreaded cookie-cutter approach to planning your wedding?
Ideally, every aspect of a wedding should be personalized -- that is, tailored
to the personalities, interests, and heritages of the bride and groom.
Here are some ideas for incorporating expressive details into your celebration:
Invitations & Printed Items
Set the tone from the beginning with a meaningful symbol that is repeated on
printed materials such as invitations, reply cards, programs, and seating cards.
You may be inspired by the location of your wedding; consider the turret of
a historic mansion, the barn on the family farm, a church steeple, lighthouse,
footbridge, or gazebo. Or in a more abstract vein, go for symbols such as a
seashell, oak leaf, or sheaf of wheat.
Choose a symbol that already exists (your stationer should have a selection
on hand), or have an artist or talented friend design a line drawing in ink.
A good stationer will be able to reproduce the symbol and scale it to size.
Other options include an ethnic or religious symbol such as a Celtic cross,
a hometown landmark such as the New York City skyline or the St. Louis Arch,
a seasonal motif, or a family crest. Consider using your symbol as inspiration
for other aspects of your wedding: a seashell, for example, can be translated
into a charm for bridesmaid necklaces or shaped chocolates to be given out as
favors, and borders of real seashells can be glued onto the rims of terra-cotta
pots that hold your centerpieces.
Monogramming is a classic way to personalize invitations and other printed
items. You can use a pre-existing typeface from your stationer or have one designed
for you by a calligrapher. Many couples use their first initials side-by-side
or intertwined. If the bride is taking the groom's last name, they might use
a single initial on post-ceremony items such as menu cards and thank-you notes.
You can also create a three-letter monogram that includes the bride's first
initial, followed by the couple's shared last initial in a slightly larger size,
and then the initial of the groom's first name. Besides wedding stationery,
a monogram can decorate the top of your wedding cake or be embroidered on a
satin handbag, the ring pillow, or the lining of your dress.
It's also easy and inexpensive to have a rubber stamp created with your chosen
design; use it to embellish napkins, favor bags and boxes, and matchbooks.
Family Matters
If wearing your mother's wedding dress is not practical for you, you can still
use her wedding photos as inspiration for your own ensemble. Copy a detail from
her dress, the style of her veil, or the flowers in her bouquet. Use fabric
from her dress to make the ring pillow, or sew a swatch into the lining of your
own dress.
Place childhood photos of the bride and groom and their parents' and grandparents'
wedding photos on the guest book table. Or set up an easel and fabric-covered
bulletin board on each side of the aisle at the back of the church: Label one
"Bride's Side" and the other "Groom's Side," and include
family photos and mementos.
Have a calligrapher write out your combined family tree, stretching back to
your grandparents or great-grandparents, with the bride and groom joined at
the very bottom (include your wedding date). Have it matted and framed, and
set it up at the reception: a poignant way to symbolize your union, a keepsake
after the wedding, and, as an added bonus, it will help your wedding guests
figure out who's who.
Ask your caterer to make a version of a favorite family recipe and list it
as such on the menu or buffet table: After all, what's a family gathering without
Aunt Marion's Sweet Potato Casserole or Nana's Spicy Deviled Eggs? Or give out
Grandma's Famous Macaroons as favors, along with the recipe. (Of course, if
you're having a large wedding, spare Grandma the work and have the caterer or
a baker make them instead).
If your family includes a beloved canine member and your wedding is being held
in a casual space, let your dog make a trip down the aisle (one of your attendants
can hold the leash). A well-behaved pooch could also be in attendance at an
outdoor reception. The dog can wear a ribbon that matches the bridesmaids' dresses
or your bouquet.
Back to Your Roots
Even if you're planning a fairly traditional American-style ceremony and reception,
you can still incorporate ethnic customs. In France, for example, the bride
and groom drink from an engraved two-handled cup at the reception; to represent
joy and celebration, the Chinese decorate with the color red; and in Indian
tradition, guests sprinkle flower petals over the heads of the bride and groom
after they've taken their vows. Ask relatives for ideas that honor your heritage,
or pick up a book such as Carolyn Mordecai's Weddings, Dating, and Love Customs
of Cultures Worldwide, Including Royalty (Nittany, 1998) or A Bride's
Book of Wedding Traditions by Arlene Hamilton Stewart (Hearst, 1995).
Create invitations and programs with the native language of the bride's or
groom's family mirroring the English text. During the cocktail hour of the reception,
when many couples invite a string quartet or harpist to play, have an ensemble
perform traditional music from your family's country of origin. You can even
bring in folk dancers (later on, you might even have them provide a lesson for
the kids in attendance). Choose hors d'oeuvres, wines, and even brands of beer
that carry on the ethnic theme.
Flowers & Favors
Include the bride's and groom's birth flowers in floral arrangements and bouquets.
This is a particularly good idea if your wedding takes place within a few months
of both birthdays, so that the flowers are more likely to be in season. (January=Carnation;
February=Violet; March=Jonquil; April=Sweet Pea; May=Lily of the Valley; June=Rose;
July=Larkspur; August=Gladiolus; September=Aster; October=Calendula; November=Chrysanthemum;
December=Narcissus)
If you've made liberal use of a beautifully scented flower such as rose, lavender,
lily of the valley, or gardenia in your decorations, funnel the same fragrance
of eau de toilette into small glass vials to present as favors, or hand out
scented soaps. The scent will remind guests of the day. Or, give edible favors
made or grown locally, such as jam, fudge, nuts, a bag of small peaches or pears,
and be sure to label them as such. If either the bride or groom is from another
city, hand out something special from his or her hometown. Include a handwritten,
signed message from the bride and groom, such as a line from a poem or a meaningful
quotation, on a note attached to each favor box. Or glue a color copy of a fun
snapshot of the couple under the lid.
Give a personalized thank-you to your guests: One bride we know placed a glassine
paper scroll, at each place setting, that contained a litany of brief, thoughtful,
sometimes humorous sentiments for each of their 120 guests: "Thank you
Grandma for days and nights on the farm"; "Thank you Bob for calling
long distance to talk about everything and nothing"; "Thank you Kathy
for introducing us."
Copyright TheKnot.com
2003
