WICHITA, Kansas -- If you have to ask what mommy guilt is, you’re either not a mom or you’re a dad.

"Daddy guilt is frustration. It’s usually a single, relating to one incident, kind of thing as opposed to a more global feeling that moms have. I think mom’s have a more global feeling," said Devra Renner, clinical social worker.

It’s something Renner sees time and time again in her clients so she teamed up with two other moms to study mommy guilt.

An internet survey helped define what moms feel guilty about.

"Number one was yelling at our kids. That’s the big thing and that was interesting to us as writers because that’s the one thing we have control over," said Renner.

Together, the authors came up with seven principles for mommy to live guilt-free. My favorite: no isn’t always the easy answer.

"When you’re saying yes more, when you use no it’s going to be very powerful. Your kids are going know you’re serious."

But the best gift in the book this Mother’s Day is that it won’t have you changing anything.

"The idea was to have a book out there with the idea that you might be doing better than what you think."

Devra Renner will return to Wichita this fall for a book signing at Watermark Books.