WICHITA, Kansas -- BTK suspect, Dennis Rader, is speaking out from behind bars using a pen and paper to communicate his feelings to family members.

Every day it must be a shock for Dennis Rader. One day he’s with his wife of 33 years, living what seemed to be a normal life in Park City, then suddenly he’s arrested and charged with 10 counts of first degree murder and thrown into jail.

Dennis Rader’s wife, Paula, has written her husband but has not come to visit.

The alleged serial murderer wrote a letter from his cell in the Sedgwick County Jail in response to a letter he received from a family member. The two page letter, composed by the BTK suspect on April 23rd is filled with spelling mistakes.

Much of the text concerns his family.

Dennis Rader, the oldest of four brothers writes: "Yes, a visit would be nice. I had only one family visit from brother Paul back in March."

Forensic psychiatrist, Brad Grinage says the message is clear.

"It is obvious to me he is going through some mental angst and is looking for some outside support," said Grinage.

The letter from Rader continues: "I understand the other, included Paula are in hiding or dodging the media. Also, I don’t think they’re ready to face me."

Reverend Cheryl Bell also analyzed the letter.

"There has not been a lot of contact with his family, which seems to be important to him, and he is feeling to loss of that. It just comes through very clear. It’s sad, it’s a sad letter," said Bell.

Rader writes: "I had my pastor, detention chaplain and one pen pal beside attorney as the only outside contacts."

The murder suspect seems to desperately miss his family. But author Robert Beattie, who believes Rader is BTK, says don’t be fooled.

"What I have long thought, whoever BTK is, his outward life is more of a sham. His inward life is BTK. This guy probably feels he’s a secret agent in enemy territory and is playing a role to divert attention from him," said Beattie.

Rader ends the letter by writing: "Tell all and your family hi for me. I think a lot about the family and things missed. Hold my love ones, family and other in prayer and thoughts. Sincerely, Dennis."

"You can feel hate and love at exactly the same time," said Grinage. "I think we all have the capacity to do that. That may be a reason why serial killers scare us so much."

Of course, Dennis Rader is not a convicted serial killer. In the eyes of the law he is still an innocent man.

He was a church leader as well. Tomorrow night we will look at the spiritual side of the BTK suspect when we read more of the letter from Dennis Rader.